One More Truth

Reflections on faith, truth, and being human

Aloha for all seasons

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Temperatures are sweltering here in Arizona, but the school year is already underway, making it official: summer is over. But don’t fret, I’ll give you a summer recap in throwback style.

“Here’s what I did this summer…”

Lounging on a Hawaiian beach has been one of my #goals since before there were #goals and this was finally the summer for making my dream a reality. My husband and I hadn’t been together without the kids since our honeymoon, so doing whatever I pleased, going to bed as early as I pleased, and never once cooking a meal was a shock to my system and a dream week come true. The waves were relaxing, the Hawaiian people were simple and kind, and the aloha culture was calm and unrushed. When we boarded the plane to come home, I felt completely refreshed. My beach vacation had ended, but I wasn’t bummed, because I was bringing the spirit of aloha home with me – like a souvenir for my insides. I couldn’t wait to share it with my children. We would enjoy each other and a laid back summer break.

And that’s exactly what we did. We played board games and did puzzles, we swam and watched afternoon movies, and for a solid month or so, our house was the hotspot for friends and neighbor kids. Most mornings I even slept in past 5. It was an extraordinary summer of ordinary moments and laid back living.

One afternoon, the kids and I were going about our summer business, headed to the Dollar Store for summer delights like candy and cheap pool toys, when we were suddenly bombarded by  ‘2 cool 4 school’ signs and giant bins of glue sticks and index cards, all displayed next to the 4th of July decor. I was tempted to grab some eraser caps and lined paper, you know, to make me feel like I had a jumpstart on the back to school thing, but I had plenty of summer left to enjoy and I refused to be rushed. I remained calm and squeezed in a few more laid back weeks before beginning the back to school preparations.

Turns out, there was quite a bit of back to school preparing to be done. My children were passing the summer days in leisure, but their bodies had been growing at a less than leisurely pace. We made our lists and even though they were longer than usual, I had every intent to keep things easy and breezy. The office supply store was first, then a couple department stores, and then Dairy Queen – to rejuvenate. We hadn’t found everything we needed, but we figured we’d finish up the next day. Nope. Weeks of precious summer were depleted skimming through clothing racks and rows of expensive shoes (even cheap shoes are expensive), filling the cart and emptying my wallet, checking pencils off the list only to realize we still needed binders, and then finding the binder shelf empty. What had happened to my laid back summer?  I felt like a half-crazed hunter-gatherer collecting items for my offspring and it was during these last few days of summer vacation that I uttered something I rarely utter: “I’m ready for the kids to go back to school.” The Aloha spirit that set the summer ablaze was hardly a flicker. Time for a new season.

New seasons bring fresh energy, but the first day of school brings unique energy. My kids were awake and ready early, chattering all through breakfast, and smiling big and proud for pictures before they left. It’s the fresh start, I think. It’s the unmarked notebooks and the unscuffed shoes and the clean slate with a brand new teacher. I had a fresh start, too. I had a quiet house (that stayed clean all day!) and new energy for endeavors that the summer noise couldn’t accommodate. But new seasons also bring new challenges. Quiet days quickly become busy afternoons of carpools, and math problems, and dirty school uniforms. Kids come home tired from structured days and no longer find it thrilling to wake up before the alarm. Within a week, the fresh energy of the new season was already gone.

Late the other night, my daughter sat on her bed – the bed she should have been snuggled in – surrounded by books and papers. Her eyes were too tired to read and too bewildered to close. She was overwhelmed. I was stretched across her bedroom floor doing my best to reel her back in and assure her she wasn’t destined to live in a cardboard box if she didn’t make straight A’s as a high school freshman. She was struggling to fit cheer, homework, downtime, and adequate sleep into the rushed school week and I was attempting to offer good solutions, but nothing sounds good to a tired teenager, or a tired mom. I was also overwhelmed and doing my best to reel myself back in from believing that the public school system was ruining my life. How would I shuttle children to activities, help with homework, get an adequate amount of sleep, and still find time to enjoy life? I headed to bed frustrated and half convinced I was packing up the family, moving to Hawaii, and reclaiming my aloha.

Exhausted but unable to sleep, I crept back to my daughter’s room to find her lying under the covers, her room dark except for the glow of the full moon on her face. She was turned toward her window, peacefully gazing at the sky. Her unfinished assignments would keep until morning. She asked why sometimes she could see the moon and other times she couldn’t, and I reminded her that the earth and the moon are always moving, making the moon visible from her window during different seasons. We admired the view for a little while. It was beautifully ordinary and soothing, just as our summer had been. We prayed together for refreshed minds and renewed spirits. We were in a busier season now, but perhaps we could still enjoy some laid back moments – we’d just have to be more deliberate about finding them. As I left her room, I whispered to my daughter – as much as to myself – “God is good to give us different seasons.” She agreed.

When I’m overwhelmed, I may benefit from a vacation or a little more sleep, but if I want to be truly refreshed, I need a renewed spirit. A renewed spirit is a shift of focus from the inside, like a change of pace for the soul. A renewed spirit is kind of like an aloha summer – it’s embracing the moment, and knowing when to do more and when to do less. I can’t avoid the challenging seasons, but I can trust the Giver of changing seasons is also the Provider of energy for each season. He’s taken great care in creating beautiful moments for every season.

So embrace your season and enjoy life, one moment at a time.

 

Messy, beautiful, and thankful

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It’s been a messy few weeks. Among our household of 6, we’ve had ingrown toenail surgery (twice), a fever, a strep test, tension headaches, a twisted ankle, chest pains, a touch of pneumonia, and a couple of non-emergency/preventative trips to the ER. There are a dozen more appointments scheduled before the end of the year. Never mind the final exams, the missing glasses, the parking ticket, vehicle repairs, and the broken vacuum that had to be replaced after many years of faithful service (RIP, trusty old pal). I couldn’t have possibly chosen a better month than December for extra expenses. Like I said, messy.

It’s kind of been an entire year like that. Several times I’ve thought to myself that there are pieces of the year I desperately hope I never remember – like my multiple speeding tickets, or the times I lost my temper, or the tragic sobs of my children as I explained to them as best I could that their brand new dog had unfortunately drowned. And I pray I remember little about the sporadic days of 2015 when I struggled against the familiar foe of darkness; those slight brushes of depression that never hold me tightly, but certainly fog my outlook with unwanted fear. Truth be told, I’m looking forward to 2016…

It’s been a beautiful few weeks. Among our busy household of 6, we’ve discovered many moments when all of us are together in the same room, laughing, talking, and sharing. We’ve enjoyed overall good health, delicious and plentiful food, and needs have always been met. God blessed us with reasonably priced plane tickets, giving us the intoxicating opportunity to hop on a red eye, fly across the country, and surprise our family for Thanksgiving. And after a few chats with our leasing agent and renters, we finally have hope that the house we own in Virginia will be purchased by our renters this spring.

It’s been an entire year like that. After scanning Craig’s List for only a few months, we finally found the perfect dog. My oldest graduated from high school, snagged a great job, and passed her first semester of college with a solid B average. My husband landed an interview with Google, had wisdom enough to turn down the second interview, and began a journey toward learning how not to work himself to death. My son made his first home run as we watched and held our breath, my junior higher guest cheered – all smiles – at the high school football game, and my youngest found creative happiness in lumps of clay at a local pottery class. Above all else, my children love Jesus and aren’t afraid to show it in their own individual style. And even in my fog, I enjoyed sunrises and sunsets, friends, family, and pivotal moments with Jesus; moments that filled me with breath, and peace, and clarity. Like I said, beautiful. And I’m looking forward to a beautiful new year.

Life is beautiful, but it ain’t always pretty. You can face the unpretty days with the same grit and grace as the beautiful days. The key is thankfulness.

Scientific research confirms that journaling gratitudes on a daily basis enhances life satisfaction within weeks, not to mention the other emotional and interpersonal benefits of a grateful focus. Various authors of the Bible said the same thing thousands of years ago, minus the statistics and fancy words like ‘research’ or ‘psychological’. They simply closed their letters with concise commands like, “Give thanks” and “Be thankful”, to remind us to live a continual lifestyle of thankfulness.

But let’s be clear. A lifestyle of thankfulness doesn’t mean journaling things you’re not truly thankful for in the spirit of trying to be positive. It doesn’t suggest masking problems so that no one else sees you unsettled. It doesn’t require clever tricks for pretending that there are never days that just plain stink. A thankful heart isn’t ignorant or dismissive.

A thankful heart is honest and pure. Thankfulness is a step toward God’s wisdom, even on the days that don’t make sense. Especially on those days. When darkness is thick and heavy, thankfulness means looking for where His light is breaking through. Thankfulness is finding yourself in a giant mess of loss, or confusion, or uncertainty and still having faith enough to shout, “Even in this mess, Jesus, I still have You!”

Emmanuel. ‘God with us’.

In times of upset, the Prince of Peace is with us.

On overwhelming days, the Wonderful Counselor is with us.

When we couldn’t be more powerless, the Mighty God is with us.

The Creator of everything, the Savior of the world is with us, and He is with us because He loves us. That’s beautiful. That’s a reason to be thankful.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 

Picture Perfect – the Crop

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The Crop…nope, not a farming post. Nor is this a post about the popular cut off shirts girls wear these days. You know the top I’m referring to – the cropped tee that offers questionable coverage and causes every onlooker to cross their fingers and hope a strong wind doesn’t blow through. Not that crop.

In olden times, long, long ago, every homemade collage, scrapbook, photo album, locker door, and bedroom mirror was adorned with a smattering of oddly-shaped, 1 inch squares of faces and skinny strips of people. These were crops – ‘otherwise great pictures’ made even better by the cropping tool of ancient times: scissors.

There were cosmetic reasons for cropping (eliminating bothersome objects and ‘visual noise’), there were practical reasons (locker doors have only so much space, you know), and there were frustrating reasons (random tourists walking through your shots at Niagra Falls – because that’s what tourists do.) But the number one reason for dicing up 4×6 glossies was removing people you knew. Or more specifically, a person you knew. Who was this person? The Ex.

We chopped the pesky Ex right out of our pictures, (and we ripped their number from our phone books, erased their answering machine messages, and pawned their gifts at the skanky shop downtown). Yes, back in the day it was a rite of passage to sit with stacks of once-favorite photos for a session of slicing and dicing. Cropping was a very labor-intensive process before the digital age, but it was the only effective way to salvage those otherwise great pictures.

But cropping wasn’t so effective for eliminating memories, or pain, because cropping always left half a picture – small, incomplete, and unable to fill a frame. The absent, unseen half no longer stared you in the face, but invisible as it was, it still commanded a lot of attention. It seemed to silently whisper, “I am incomplete. You are incomplete.” Focus on incomplete images and you’re going to feel pretty empty.

If the images in your mental gallery provoke you to feel empty, then it’s time for new pictures.

We were designed to need Jesus and without Him, the empty spaces in our lives are impossible to fill. The painful holes are impossible to ignore. When we choose to trust Jesus with everything we are and everything we have (and everything we aren’t and everything we haven’t), He comes into our invisible spaces. He transforms our minds, our hearts, and our lives by opening them to His goodness. He is love, joy, peace. He is patient, kind, trustworthy, and gentle. Turning our eyes toward His goodness fills us with gratitude. Even when our life picture doesn’t seem complete, we can be grateful for a completely perfect Savior who fills our emptiness with good things. Focusing on His goodness changes things.

So ditch those crops, already! Don’t focus on what’s missing in your life. Turn your eyes to the complete, larger than life images that only Jesus can display. Allow Him to change your focus and suddenly, you won’t just discover joy, peace, and gratitude – you’ll be filled with them.

 

 

Picture Perfect – the Candid

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If I had to pick one all-time favorite photo (impossible, by the way), it would definitely be a candid. Perhaps an image of open-mouthed laughter, or the face of sheer surprise, or a still frame of the typically ornery child caught reading quietly in bed. Unposed, slightly imperfect, and totally real, candids capture the true moment and the genuine person.

Studio pictures and school pictures are all well and good, but since when do they convey personality? Let’s get real – the last time my child looked at me with fixed eye contact, head slightly cocked, a strained smile, and arms calmly folded in front of them, I guarantee I was completely freaked out. In real life, if someone voluntarily chooses to pose as described, that person is either losing their mind or trying not to poop their pants. That’s only a theory, but I think I’m on to something.

Kids are the best subjects for candids. Perhaps it’s their inexperience with posing. Or maybe it’s the fact that they don’t think too much of themselves. They live with more abandon. They’re not too old, too mature, too smart, too refined, too clever, too polite, too experienced, too accomplished, too proud, or too darned awesome to live out loud. They’re not embarrassed by the picture that busted them messy haired, dressed like a hobo, shoving a donut in their mouth. They love that picture, because unbrushed hair and 2 bite donut consumption is good livin’. Kid rational is: ‘life is for living, not posing.’ Even if it means looking slightly foolish.

Grown-ups love candids of their kids – or any cute kid – but rarely do they love a candid of themselves. Why? Because candids sometimes expose us looking like a fool and we’re better than foolishness. We’ve learned how to pose, after all. We’re educated, successful, accomplished, respectable, and refined. As we mature, we tend to see ourselves from an inflated point of view.

So let’s get really candid, shall we? Saying you love Jesus is great. Truly. It sounds good and it looks good, but I’ll warn you – the faith life Jesus called us to live is one of humility. No studio sessions, just humble candids. And being seen humbled is similar to being seen as a fool. If living out your dedicated love for Jesus means thinking less of yourself and occasionally looking foolish, can you do it?

Sometimes we plan to do things for someone else and other times Jesus chooses the plan and the someone else for us. Sometimes we choose an opportunity to serve – a mission, a ministry, a cause – and other times our humble Savior ‘nudges’ us into straight up servanthood. Hypothetically, sometimes 600 VBS children and parents make a mess at your place of business and you know for a fact that it’s not your sole responsibility to clean it up (particularly in the last hour before you close – the hour you spend finishing up your ‘real job’ responsibilities) and you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a real life candid. What will be revealed about your true personality? What dark thoughts will you be thinking as you discontentedly grab and fill trash bags? (Hypothetically, of course.) Can you love Jesus happily even when it’s not fair, when you’re caught off guard, unprepared, and tired? Will you find yourself thinking that if living out loud in loyal love for Jesus means looking like a trash-collecting fool, well…you’re out. You’ll be the one to choose the candid moments of humility, thank you very much.

Maybe I recently saw myself in a candid moment. Maybe I didn’t look my best. Hypothetically, as I mentioned. But my kids, on the other hand…what a priceless picture. They were helping happily. Nothing had been promised for their work. It wasn’t glamorous to move chairs or empty trashcans. They wouldn’t be recognized for sweeping up the crumbs of hungry people, but they weren’t concerned with any of these things, nor were they concerned with whether or not they were too good or too skilled to serve. Help was needed and they were capable. And willing. That was the priceless part. That’s a candid to treasure.

Life is now. Life is happening in the moments when you’re unprepared. No one to comb the tangles before you say ‘cheese’. No white, toothy smiles free of spinach particles. We won’t always look our best living in humility. We won’t look professional being a servant. We won’t look accomplished and dignified doing the dirty work of Jesus living, but if we want to be truly grownup in our faith, we can better prepare ourselves by thinking like a kid. Live with abandon. Help like it’s your hobby. Love like a fool. Be willing no matter your paygrade. It’s a mindset of humility. And the result? Beautiful candids of a genuine, Jesus-loving heart.